The Truth About The Company We Keep
FRIENDSHIP is awesome. We need friends. They are there for the difficult times, the good times, whenever we need them. But not everyone in our circle is there for the right reasons like the ones colloquially, albeit derivatively called Frenemies — the wolves adorning sheepskin. That doesn’t obviate the fact that with the right friends, we can attain our full potential, prosper, and enjoy the best moments of our lives in their enticing, enterprising company.
Some of the best archetypes of friendship are almost biblical, especially when you think of David and Jonathan — a son defying a king for his adopted brother, or the famous words of Samwise Gamgee to Frodo Baggins, “I can not carry it for you, but I can carry you” — arguably one of the best fictional depictions of friendships, but apparent (in some form) within most of our lives.
Despite the illustrious paradigms of friendship, we must be circumspect about whom we befriend because sometimes we arrive at a waterloo in the company of those who camouflage as comrades but are bereft of fidelity. Friendly intentions may not be ostensible, but usually, these are the kind of friends we encounter in our lives —
The Watchers
From the term, these people watch us. They are on our contact list but are not frequent callers, followers on social media platforms who rarely comment, acquaintances, and neighbours without rapport. They are not our closest friends, but they know a lot about our career and lifestyle by sheer proximity, research, and social stalking.
Their activities aren’t geared towards enhancing our growth or progress. It’s fueled by an ambitious drive to use their knowledge to gain our favour or progress at our expense. Usually, they step into our lives the moment we gain a milestone, simply to benefit from our good fortune, and can easily gain our confidence because they are charismatic and experienced sycophants.
The Buddies
Inarguably, they are some of our best mates and an essential part of our social circle. They are integrated into our world through mutual interests and complimentary lifestyles. They are our childhood pals, work colleagues, gym rats, drink/fun buddies, and high school/college besties or housemates. They are nigh inevitable.
Due to the interests and vicinity we share with them, they are privy to our lifestyle choices, work ethics, dilemmas, family history, and other intricacies concerning our lives that aren’t readily available to public purview. They are our “first responders” or people we call for advice or guidance. Hence, they can stir us towards a path of salvation or down the road to perdition.
It is uncanny how when one picks up a bad habit, a spouse or lover cheats, or a dark secret is revealed, it usually involves a buddy. Albeit not in every case as some are very good friends, but proximity can breed disdain and envy when one buddy flourishes and another despair. Isn’t that the plot of every betrayal story ever told?
The Ride or Die (The Riders)
Sometimes, I wonder whether they are unreal or human? They love us for who we are and push us to attain our goals, not for their benefit but because they want us to succeed and live our best lives. They can be overwhelming because even when we offend them, they remain steadfast.
They aren’t always in our circle of trust or within our vicinity. They aren’t the kind of people we may befriend on a whim because of their esotericity , but when we welcome them into our world, they are inexorable. The problem with riders is that sometimes we can not commensurate their good efforts, so our insecurities scare them away.
Riders aren’t infallible. Their flaw is being generous and expecting little or nothing in return. Their altruism can engender distrust or misconstrued intentions as humans criticize what we can not comprehend. Riders expect us to reward their friendship with the barest minimum, and when we fail to fulfil our end of the bargain, they may decide to leave and never return.
Know thy Friends…
We determine the kind of people we allow into our world. It is something we can control. We can decide to follow someone down the rabbit hole or forge a new path towards creating better, profitable friendships that will nourish our lives.
When we inordinately choose our friends, at a point, we are inundated by the presence of persons with conflicting desires and interests, culminating into an utter disaster, fraught with regrets and frenemies. Sometimes, we are the riders, i.e., in the scheme of things, our friends need us more than we do, so we can not fathom if they are around us for the right reasons or simply to become free riders in our lives.
Whatever the case, we must ask ourselves pertinent questions about our circle. Do we share similar goals? How have we grown personally or professionally since we met them? How easily do they compromise on their values? What have they done to prove their fidelity? What do people we trust think of our friendship with them?
When we understand our circle, it becomes easier to avoid detractors and navigate the friendship towards a pathway of progress. We gain the foreknowledge to beware our watchers, exercise caution with our buddies, and retain our riders, and if the latter are not a part of our circle, we need better friends. And that’s a fact.
Untold 